so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
