Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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