you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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