On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
