I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
