he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
