toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Still dying that you shit outside
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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