OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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