did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
