I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
