What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
