I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Never underestimate the power of titties
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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