puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
