Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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