..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
