im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
