cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
