don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize