Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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