so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
