Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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