hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
