Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
