So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
