where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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