we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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