You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
