That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
