Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
