i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize