maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
