Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
