I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
