I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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