you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
this boner is exhausting
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
