Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
No subtext here. People are naked.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
