I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
