you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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