I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
