you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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