Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
