Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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