can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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