Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
