Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We left an ass print on the piano.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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