Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
