I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
