what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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