You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
