He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
