were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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