Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize