i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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