Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
