Little spoons don't ask big questions
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
