I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
