Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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