terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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