so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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