dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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