My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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