im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize