I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it because I queefed?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
