I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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