why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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