he puts the penis in happiness.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
